Rishton Ki Kasauti Par Ram

                                                           Week 3

A wife used to consider her husband impious as he never used to take the name of God. In 25 years of their marriage he had not uttered God's name even once. One day the wife told her husband, " Something great happened last night. You were sleeping and you were uttering God's name". The husband replied," This is impossible. It cannot happen that I would have uttered God's name". But finally the husband agreed that he used to worship God in his heart and today he uttered God's name and his heart failed.

In Ramayan, Bharat has played a very important role. He was very simple in nature. When Bharat came to know that his mother has sent Ram to the forest and has asked the throne for Bharat, he asked his mother how did she think that he will be able to sit on the throne that belonged to this brother. He was sad from within.

The following qualities in Bharat show how to maintain relations:

1. Feeling of Love:

True love towards someone would make you even bear any pain given by the other person. We would accept the pain with love. Love for God, Guru and Parents must be so strong that even if there are struggles or pain given by them, we would be ready to bear them. Is there any person in our life who plays such a role?Bharat's mentality was to bear any pain from Ram because his love for Ram was pure. But our love is conditional. We love someone only as long as our wishes are fulfilled and as long as our conditions are met. We trust the doctor who is going to operate us and we sign the papers. But where is our trust when it comes to our near and dear ones.
When Kaykayi had asked for the throne for Bharat, he said," If you had taken Saryu River's water and eaten  Ayodhya's grains, you would not have had such a bad mentality".
In our absence, what would our reaction be if, the property is distributed among two brothers and you are the youngest,
a. Elder brother gets 70% and 30% for the younger one,
b. Younger brother gets 70% and elder brother gets 30%.
If enemy offers us a glass of juice are we ready to drink? A doctor prescribes poison and we take it blindly. Why? Because it depends on who is offering us and on whom we have faith and love.
It is not easy to make God and Guru as our family member.
For eg. In Jalgaon, an 82 year old man used to go in a car worth 40 lakhs. His son used to go in a car worth 25 lakhs. Every morning when the man used to go in his car and if he saw any beggar, he would stop the car, take the beggar in the car to his house, give him breakfast and would send him with great respect. The son used to say that due to his father's good deeds he is wealthy. Did we ever give credit to our parents for what we are today?

When Ram had gone to the jungle for 14 years, Bharat never sat on the throne. Bharat says that he simply cannot sit on the throne while Ram wanders in the forest. He asks Ram for his sandals, which he would place at the throne and would serve personally. With much sorrow and hurt, Bharat leaves Ram and returns towards Ayodhya. He decides that he would not live in the kingdom while Ram is in exile and so lives like a hermit in a nearby town called Nandigram


2. Sacrifice:

The strength to leave the luxuries and our comfort is actual sacrifice. Bharat carried out whatever task was given to him by Ram. None could match Bharat in his attitude of sacrifice, un-worldliness and devotion. He was as close to Ram as one could be.
There was a 40 year old man. His mother was very ill and his father was no more. He told his wife that the credit goes to his mother for whatever he is today. The doctors had asked him to take care of his mother. The man then told his wife, " From today onwards, you would sleep on the bed near mother and I will sleep on the ground". The wife agreed. This sacrifice went on for 12 years between the husband and wife. In this jet age, it is difficult to find such a partner.
To hear Bharat's life story and to implement it in our life is different and is very difficult. Are we ready to sacrifice our comforts for the one's we love? It is not about the whole world. It is about one such person whom we love so much that we are ready to sacrifice anything and everything. 


3. Dedication:
Once there was a match being held in Ayodhya. Ram, Bharat, Shatrugna and Laxman were participating in the match. Bharat said that he will not be partners with Ram and will play against Ram. The audience was surprised as Bharat was always with Ram. The match went on for three hours but no one was interested in the match. In the end, everyone asked Bharat why did he play against Ram. Bharat said, " You are not able to see why I had played opposite to Ram. If I had been partners with Ram, I would not have been able to see him continuously for three hours". Ram and Bharat were two bodies and one soul.
Do we have such dedication in us?

If we are successful in life, we say by God's grace. But when we are unsuccessful, are we ready to say, God,  your wish. Do we have such a mentality that no matter what happens, our love for God will never change.
The dedication of a disciple towards his Guru bring a feeling of love for the disciple in a Guru's heart.
When Ram was in the forest and Bharat came to know about it, he went to meet Ram. Bharat met Bharadvaj Rishi as he came to know that Ram had stayed there before going to the forest. With tears in his eyes, Bharat asked, " Ram had stayed here for one night before going to the forest. From his actions and conversation did you feel that Ram's love for me is still the same?" Bharat was not happy that he got the throne but was feeling sad instead to be away from Ram. The Rishi replied," Ram did not utter your name but I can say that Ram still loves you a lot. When Ram had stepped into the river to take a bath, he said, Asmin Jambu Dweepe and tears were in his eyes when he said Bharat Kshetra. Tears started flowing out of Bharat's eyes.Rishi Bharadwaj,  praises him and says that with the noble conduct of Bharat in renouncing the throne and the unflinching resolve of Ram in implementing his father’s orders, the late King Dashrath has been absolved of all earthly debts and has ascended to heaven.

"रिश्ता बनाना सरल है क्योंकि 

मिटटी से मिटटी पर मिटटी लिखना है 

रिश्ता निभाना मुश्किल है क्योंकि 

पानी से पानी पर पानी लिखना है"

Bharat is not paid obeisance first, that is, even before Rama, Sita and Laxman because he sacrificed the kingdom, or because he insisted to remain with Rama in exile leaving behind his own family. Any well brought up prince of that time would do that for his brother, father or any loved one. He is paid obeisance because he forgave Kaikeyi on Rama’s say so. It is a fact that it is not difficult to forgive others, sometimes out of compulsion, sometimes because of our inability to do anything about it. But it is very difficult to forget wrong done by our own because it hurts our inner being, because we least expect such betrayal from them, such as Kaikeyi’s. It took immense strength of character for Bharat to forgive his mother. BUT HIS LOVE AND DEVOTION FOR RAMA WAS MORE THEN HIS HATE FOR KAIKEYI. There lies his greatness.

Recharge Your Relations- Week 2

                                                                        Week - 2

A man was going home from the railway station in the night. He had lakhs of rupees in his purse. He was constantly checking and was worried if someone would rob him. He took a taxi. The man was constantly seeing the taxi driver from the mirror and kept talking to him so that he can divert his attention. The taxi driver did not say anything. In the morning when he reached home he asked the taxi driver, " You knew that I had lots of money in my purse. You did not speak anything. What were you thinking?" The taxi driver replied, " I was just thinking when would that time come when you will be in my position and I will be in yours". On every tree of relation there will be termites to end the relation.

If a man has qualities of a woman in him then he becomes a great soul. A woman's nature does not have cruelty or rudeness. If a woman has qualities of a man in her then she might become a slut. Great men, Saints and God all have the qualities of woman in them - Kind nature, Humbleness and Purity and tolerant.

A man's nature is composed of anger, cruelty, rudeness, greed etc. In such cases, a new relation can never be made and an existent relation can never exist.

There are two things to watch out for:
1. Excess(अधिक):

A person who runs behind excess can never stay at home. We are all running behind excess wealth. We need more and more. What we have is never enough. A person who thinks about excess does not have relations or connections. Why is there such madness behind excess. Till when would we keep running? Life is short.
An athlete was once running in the Olympics. He was running and everyone was cheering him up. He kept running and he thought he would not reach his goal, but before he could reach, he fell down, got an attack and died.
A rich man is away from home and his family but a poor man is always with his family.
A small kid keeps waiting for his father to bring sweets for him. He controls his sleep and waits for his father, but the father never comes. Finally at around 10 pm, his father arrives. He asks his father for chocolates. His father replies that he has forgotten to bring them and gives the son Rs 1000/- . The kid's mother on seeing this says, " Don't you feel ashamed. Our son is asking for chocolates and you are giving him Rs 1000/-?" The father asks, " Is Rs 1000 very less? Should I give more?" The mother replies, " Lets do one thing. I have not prepared dinner for you. I will keep Rs 2000/- in your plate. You have your dinner". A man might be a successful businessman but an unsuccessful father.
A person who has less money is indigent. But a person who feels he does not have enough money is miserable. When do we plan to change? If not now, then when?

"Anything in excess is poison"

Here is a real life story:
A man had an export business and he used to work from 7am to 9pm. His wife used to always ask him to go at 10 am and come back by 5 pm so that he can spend time with his wife and kids. The man never listened to his wife and he used to say that he is running behind money for his kid's future.
One day is happened that the husband was in the office, the kids were in the school. The wife was watching TV and there were vulgar scenes shown. Her servant was right behind her watching the same scenes. The atmosphere was perfect and a scene happened between both of them. This went on for quite some time. The servant one day said that her husband will come to know of their relation some day or the other. The wife said, " I will not take any risk. Kill him". One night, when the man was sleeping, his wife and the servant killed him and cut him into many pieces and put the pieces in a suitcase. The watchman by chance saw a finger outside the suitcase and complained to the police. The police arrested her and she was thrown out of her flat and her own family. Gurudev met this woman and asked her why had she done such a thing. She cried and replied," I know what I have done is wrong. But what can I do? Even I have desires. I used to ask my husband to take out time for me and my kids, but he never used to listen to us and I did this".
What the lady did was definitely wrong but the root cause of what she had done was because her husband has not given her enough time.
We are available 24 hours for money but we are not available for our wife, mothers, kids etc. We run behind excess wealth all our life and when our last moment comes, we realize that there was no meaning in running so much.
If a dog runs behind a vehicle, it will never reach the vehicle. Even if it does reach, it will not be able to sit in the vehicle. Even if it is able to sit in the vehicle, a dog will remain a dog. Similarly we run behind our ambition without even knowing where to stop and we end up achieving nothing in our life.

2. Stay away from Your Rights:

If we are going to think of our rights first, we will never be able to maintain our relations. What comes first in front of our eyes - What is my right or What is my duty?
The elder son thinks it is his right to get equal property. He files a case in the court against his own father to fight for his rights. Fights happen, relations end when rights are given more importance than duty. We have all forgotten our duty towards our family and our loved ones.
There was family that had eight son's and eights daughter in laws. The smallest son got married just 6 months back. The youngest daughter in law was modern and did a huge shopping. She bought five saree's each worth Rs 20,000/- . The father in law then asked the eldest daughter in law to also shop as per her wish. But the eldest daughter in law replied," The youngest daughter in law is modern. She is our sweet little sister. I don't mind if she does a huge shopping". The father in law was impressed and said that you are thinking about your duty first. I will manage your rights".

रिश्तों की कसौटी पर राम

                                                                             Week 3

                                                                      राम ही आराम है 

Mistake is a single page in a part of life. But relation is a book of dictionary. Do not lose a full book for a single page.

Because it can takes years to build strong relationship BUT possibly only a moment to tear it apart.

So Trust , Keep the faith, Have Courage to Forgive, Give another chance

Emperor Akbar's enthronement ceremony was going on. He asked Birbal what he wanted from him as he was becoming the King. Birbal said he did not want anything. On being asked again, Birbal said, " I want you to keep your hand on my shoulders when you walk towards the throne". Akbar was astonished at Birbal's wish. The next day Akbar kept his hand on Birbal's shoulder. On seeing this everyone was thinking that hopefully Akbar will support them just the way he has supported Birbal.
It is important to support the one on whom we have kept our hand as well.

In our life, do we want to hear Ram's good deeds, do we want to know Ram, do we want to meet Ram or do we want to become Ram? We have to remember God while doing whatever we do and we will do the right thing. God's love is pure love towards us.


Do we have strength in us to become like Ram?
We have to follow theses steps to become like Ram:

R- maintain Relations
A- Attitude
M- Moral

1. Relations:
Maintaining relations is the biggest challenge. Ram had maintained pure relation with Bharat, Dushrath, Jaanki, Lakshman and Kaykayee. Which one would we select in comparison to wealth, health, power, success, luxuries and relation. Which of these will be our top priority. The relation between a Guru and his disciple, God and his devotee, a father and his son,between a husband and wife,  between brothers, will be tough to maintain but it depends on us what we want.

A bird flying in the sky is God's love and a bird in the cage is man's love that is impure.

A goldsmith was making jewellery with his hammer. A small piece of gold went and fell near the place where the blacksmith was hitting the iron with his huge hammer. Iron was making a lot of noise while being hit, whereas gold did not make any noise. Gold asked Iron," Why are you shouting so loudly?" Iron replied, " I am being beaten by my own brother and so I am shouting". It is very painful when we are hurt by our near and dear one's than by a third person.
When a river flows, it first fills the holes nearer to it and then fills the far one's. In our case, our mentality is different. We don't care for our near ones as much as we care for others. Why doesn't our love flow first towards our close ones. If we want to maintain our relations, we have to keep everything else aside and give first priority to our relations.

“Live for yourself and you will live in vain;

Live for others, and you will live again.” 

During Kaykayee's swayamvar, a lot of King's had come to marry her but she had selected Dushrat. The other King's who were jealous tried to attack Dushrat. At that time, Kaykayee saved Dushrat. Dushrat asked Kaykayee what she desired and he will fulfill it. Kaykayee said she will ask for her wishes later.
When time came, Kaykayee said, "Oh, king! send Rama to forest for fourteen years. Let Bharata be made as king of this earth". Rama having been sent to forest for fourteen years, your son will stand firmly, having laid his roots and will stay in power for the remaining period". 
When Dushrat asked Ram to go to the forest for 14 years, he did not question or argue. He agreed to go to the forest. Sita and Laxman both went with Ram. When Sita went to ask Kaykayee permission, Kaykayee said, " My son is a Kshatriya and he will be able to conquer all the difficulties, but you are like a delicate flower. How can I send you?"  Sita replied," I have married Arya Putra and I will go along with him".
When Laxman came to know about this, he also decided to go with Ram. His mother said, " I would allow you to go the forest only if you consider Ram as your father, Sita as your mother and the forest as Ayodhya" Laxman agreed. He instructed his wife Urmila to take care of his mother. Urmila made such a big sacrifice and stayed back only to take care of Laxman's mother.
Here we can see the beautiful relation between:
Ram and Sita
Ram and Laxman
Laxman and Urmila
Ram and Kaykayee


Today we hesitate in doing even these smaller things, and that’s why when the foundation is weak how can the building survive.As brothers grow up they start quarelling about bigger things like land, property etc. If we learn to shape ourselves right now then future problems will never arise.  


There are three important things to remember in life:
a. Never make promises to anyone when you are happy.
b. Don't take decisions when you are unhappy.
c. Don't reply back when you are angry or aggressive.

2. Attitude:


"Right attitude sees the silver lining in a dark cloud while the wrong attitude sees only the dark cloud!"

Ram's attitude was positive when he was asked to go to the forest. He did not think wrong about Bharat, Dushrat or Kaykayee. It was Ram’s principles to follow what his father promised and it was Bharat’s principles not to take what was in reality his loving brother’s. If we are in a family, there will be injustice. Are we ready to bear the injustice and yet save our relations, just like Ram did?
When we view a coin from the front, we see a circle. When we look at it from the side, it looks like a straight line. Same coin, different views. In the same way, if we look at a situation from different angles we get different views. That is attitude.

3. Moral:
Ram was a man of principles. If we want to become Ram, we have first learn to follow our principles.

"Principles are something that show you path even when their is utter darkness, they can be your teacher, mentor and inspiration"

Maryada Purshottam Ram

Maryada Purshottam Ram loved and respected his father more than anything in world and knew that Dashrath’s pride and honour was his word. Raghukul’s principles mandated it’s followers to fulfill anything they had promised even if it means sacrificing their lives for that.
 Dashrath was a staunch follower of his principles and hence infinite pain he must have suffered, couldn’t refuse Kekayi’s wish. Althought Ram could refuse this order(as Dashrath wished)  for whole ayodhya was with him and Bharat could easily have become king(as kekayi wished) for whole administration was with him but both followed their principles of truth and love.

Recharge Your Relations

                                                                  Week 1- Day 2

Once Buddha and his disciple Ananda were going on their way. Buddha requested Ananda to get him some water from a nearby river as he was feeling thirsty. A bullock cart had just passed from there and so the water had become dirty. Ananda tells to Buddha that the water is dirty and undrinkable and that they should wait until they find a stream that is cleaner. After 15 minutes Buddha asks Ananda to get water from the same river. Ananda is then astonished to discover the water he pulls from the river is clean and clear.
Ananda asked Buddha the reason. Buddha replied," The water had become dirty for sometime but after sometime the water cleared up and became clean".
Similarly in life, our relations might get disturbed for sometime, however, we have to wait for the disputes to settle down.  Maintaining Relations, now-a-days have become painful.

                      “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

To become beloved of God, we have to first become people friendly. To become people friendly, we have to first become friendly in our family.

There are four things that can destroy relations and that can cause PAIN in relations:

 P - Patience (Less)
A - Attitude (Wrong)
I - Independent (More)
N - Nature (Bad)

1. Less Patience:


     "Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting"


To maintain relations, we need to have a lot of patience. We have to wait. There is lot of stress and depression in relations and may be it might not work as we wish, however, if we have patience, things might change.

                                      "You can never step twice in the same river"

Like the water that is different every time we step into the river, we are also different from yesterday. We are not the same. We might be wrong if we make decisions based on what happened once. A person can always change. After every Autumn comes Winter. A tree becomes dry and sheds all its leaves in Autumn, but the gardener does not cut the tree off. He waits until it is Winter when the tree is again full of green leaves. 


After every sunset, there is a sunrise. After every red signal, there is a green signal. When Nature can have such patience, why can't we?


                                       "Assumptions are the termites of relationships"


A cardiogram graph always goes up and down. If it becomes a straight line, it means danger. Similarly in relations, there will definitely be ups and downs, but we have to wait. The more the patience, the more the strength. In case, we wait and the other person does not change, then at least there will be a satisfaction that we tried to maintain the relation. Less patience is like acid in a relationship.


Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.


Due to lack of patience, today, parents are in old age homes and there are so many divorce cases between couples.
A 26 year old boy was once sending his father to the old age home. The father agreed but just before leaving, there were tears in his eyes. The son asked the reason why he was crying. The father replied, " Son, if I had put you in an orphanage when you were a kid, today this situation would not have come where I am forced to go to the old age home". The son had no patience with his father and hence such a situation happened.

There are examples of very good relationships as well.
A mother-in-law used to always nag and scold her daughter-in-law. But the daughter-in-law never used to say anything. She quietly used do her work. The mother-in-law was surprised and finally one day she asked her daughter-in-law the reason she never used to back answer. The daughter-in-law replied, " Mother, it must be for my good that you are scolding me. And everyday I pray to God to give me so much patience to listen and bear what ever you say".

A Joke: Once a man asked his friend if he has seen the new machine(Lie Detector) that detects a lie and catches you if you lie. The man replied, " I am married to such a machine".

                                       "By doing nothing, everything is done"

Dirt in a bucket of water will settle down and we can get clear water if nothing is done to it, but if we try to shake it, we will only get dirty water. Advanced technology has attacked first on Patience.
A true story to show the lack of patience in today's generation:
An 18 year old boy had ordered for a juice in a restaurant. The waiter did not bring the juice. He waited for 10 - 15 minutes. Finally he lost his patience, went straight into the kitchen of the restaurant and killed the waiter!
So, are we ready to wait and mend our relations rather than break them? Whenever someone criticizes us, we should never reach immediately. We have to wait, think and then answer the person. By doing so our relations can be saved.

2. Wrong Attitude:

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”

Having a wrong attitude means having a negative attitude. We feel," I can never be wrong". We always point out at the other person. Wrong attitude can never work in relations. We need to have a positive approach. If a person drowns in the middle of the ocean, we cannot do anything, but we are astonished if we realize that the water level was not very high where the person drowned. So is the case in relationships. For trifle reasons, relationships end.
There was a boy, who was good in character and used to respect God and elders but he was not ready to speak to his father. One day Gurudev asked him the reason why he would not speak to his father. He replied," I wanted to become an engineer but I father made me a Charted Accountant and so I will never talk to him for the rest of my life".
The boy had such a wrong attitude towards his father who had done everything for him. So are we victim to wrong attitude?
Today nobody wants to stay in a joint family. If we want to stay in a joint family there will be three side effects:
1. There will be injustice.
2. we will be insulted.
3. We will be neglected.
But we have to accept these to stay together. Lot of things happen in a relationship, but we have to know how to deal with all of these situations in life. First we have to know how to use our tongue as words once said can never be taken back
"It is easy to forget if someone hits us with a stone but very difficult to forget if someone hits us with words".
If someone makes a mistake scold them for their current mistake but don't remember the old one's. And one last thing, when someone hurts us, we would feel like asking, " Do you know about the sacrifices I have made to maintain a good relation with you?" But instead ask the other person, " What are the sacrifices you have made to maintain a good relation with me?" Then see the difference! Thank You would seem a very small word in front of the sacrifices the other person made for us.

3. More Independent:

Children today are given too much of freedom by their families and society. Too much of freedom has in turn made the children rude towards their parents. It is not a question of freedom but too much of freedom that has spoil't the young generation.. Even in cricket, a player has his boundaries where he can run on the ground. Even in Olympics, there are boundaries. So even we need boundaries in life. There has to be a limit to everything. There is no limit to wine, rave parties, pornography and blue films. After marriage, girls want to work and don't want to be at home. They don't want to work in the same office as their husband. A daughter-in-law orders her mother-in-law to prepare her breakfast in the morning. Is this our culture?
Parents give all the freedom to their children thinking that they did not get enough freedom in their childhood. 
Children don't even want their parents to ask to whom are they talking to over the phone.
Democracy does not mean freedom that would spoil us.

A 15 year old boy once demanded his father for a car worth four lakhs. The next day the father took him to the bank and said, " I have deposited the money in the bank. The day you can earn to buy petrol for yourself, I will get you the car". Children should not be given this free will of spending money the way they want.
We are not against Freedom, but against More Freedom!

4. Bad Nature:

“Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.”

If our family members want us to be around most of the time, then we have to understand that our nature is good. The kind of nature we have will decide the kind of relationships we will have.
There was a man who had five sons and five daughter-in-laws. If anytime, even one of the daughter-in-law wanted to go their mother's house, the man would immediately send them. The daughter-in-laws used to return within 2 or 3 days because they did not like to be without their father-in-law! Do we get to see such a relationship anywhere?

Lets change our nature, forget Ego and ask for forgiveness to those whom we have hurt. We need to become beloved between our family members, then among people and then we can become beloved to God.

Recharge Your Relations

                                                                     Week 1- Day 1

Recharge Your Relations

                                       
Life is about Relationships and we need to know how to keep and maintain them. We all need one another.
In life relationships don't die but are murdered. When ever relations break, we point out at the other person.
A relationship is like a thread. The more the knots in a thread the shorter the thread, likewise, the more the hatred in relations, the more the relations break!

There are three things in life that we have to avoid and that can murder our relationship with others:

1. EGO:

Ego is the only requirement to destroy any relationship

So, Be a bigger person, skip the 'e' and let it 'go'

The biggest enemy of relations is EGO. Between family members, society and countries, Ego is the biggest reason for all kinds of fights. First of all let us understand what is Ego? If "I" comes in between any relation, it would end the relation. A TEAM breaks when I comes in between. The ego is a deep desire to dominate.  
                       The ego says," I am always right, special, higher, bigger, greater than you"

 Ego does the work of wall in a building of relations. Ego does the work of acid that spoils milk and does the work of a stone that when thrown brings ripples in water.Till date, Ego has not done one good thing in relations.We have to avoid ego in order to maintain our relations.

                "The world is burning in the fire of desire, in greed, arrogance and excessive ego.”

Our body is made up of oxygen, food, water and medicine. Some relations are like water to us, some like food without which we cannot live and some are like medicines that we take only until we are ill. In our life is there even a single relation that is like oxygen to us? Is there any such relation without which we cannot live? If a relation breaks, does it disturb us or not? We have know how to ask for forgiveness and also forgive.

"Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego".

Surdas was a devotee of Lord Krishna. Once he fell down in a pit. He remembered Shree Krishna and trusted the Shree Krishna will come to save him. Like he had thought Shree Krishna came and gave his hand to pull him out of the pit. Surdas thought that his Lord had come after such a long wait and hence will not let him go so easily. When Shree Krishna pulled him out, Surdas held his hand firmly and did not let him go. But Shree Krishna in any case left his hand and went away. No matter what Surdas was very devoted to Shree Krishna. He never brought his ego in between.
Sudhama was devoted to Shree Krishna, Hanuman was devoted to Shree Ram and Gautama was devoted to Lord Mahavira. Do we have one such relation with anyone person  in our lives?

                                         "Leave Ego, Otherwise Everyone Would Leave You"

We maintain good relations until our needs our met. We become selfish in relations and then end the relations when we don't require them anymore. Whenever ego comes in between, we have to tell ego," Don't come near me. Stay away!" . Ego murders relationships. Today there are so many divorce cases in India? Why? Because of ego between a husband and wife! Relationships between father and son, mother and daughter, brothers are all ending because of ego. 
For eg, If someone picks our pocket and runs away, does he come to us for a solution or do we go to him?
We go to him because we want to save our money. We save out fingers when we cut our nails. So why don't we take the first step to save relations with our loved ones?  
When we forgive our family members for anything they have done to us, it means, " I don't want to save my ego,  I want to save my relations".

In life, have we got anything as per our choice? None of these are of our choice - our Birth, Birth place, our body, Family members, Parents,God, Religion. The why an egoistic attitude?  If we don't have a good relation with the gardener, then why do talk of leaving the garden? Even a small kid has ego in him. When he falls down, he would see around him if anyone has seen him and then cries.
The biggest enemy of dedication towards someone is ego. Ego will never let you be dedicated to anyone.

A Joke: A boy got 92% in his exams and even then he wanted to go for tuition's
His mother asked," Son, why do you want tuition's when you have got such good marks?"
The son replied," Mother, why do you want a servant when you health is so good?"

There are examples of beautiful relationships as well. A husband was going on the way and an astrologer asked him to show his hand. The husband showed his hand and the astrologer told him about his future. Then the astrologer asked the wife to show her hand. The wife replied," My husband and I am one from the day we got married. You have already seen my husband's hand. So there is no question of me showing you my hand".

"Ego closes your eyes for the truth

Selflessness opens them

Ego makes you lose your self respect

Selflessness gains it "

Once a boy and a girl were about to get married. The girl's mother asked the boy," Where will you take my daughter after marriage?" The boy said, " I will take her to Kashmir, Shimla, Darjeeling". The mother replied," No, take her to America". The boy said," I do not have enough finance now to take her to America. I will take her when I earn that much". The mother started arguing that the boy has to take the girl to America. When the boy denied, the mother asked the girl to end the relationship with the boy and the wedding did not take place.The mother'e ego was the reason this relationship had ended.We are ready to save ego but not relations. Ego is never ready to bend!

There was once a poor man named Saajan. He was poor by wealth but rich in his thoughts. Once while digging the house, he and his wife found a pot of gold. He told his wife that this gold pot did not belong to them as they lived in a rented house. They both decided to give the Gold pot to the landlord the next day. The poor man's wife then asked him to give the gold pot to the landlord as soon as possible because she felt that their mind may change due to poverty. They did not want to take the risk, The man went to the landlord's house but was initially not allowed to go inside by the security guard. But he begged and went inside. The landlord scolded him and said," Why have you come here?"  The man replied, " Sir, only you can solve my problem and I want you to come to my house". Tears rolled down his eyes and he asked him to come immediately. The landlord thought that the situation must be critical and agreed to go. He asked the reason but the man said he will tell the reason only after reaching home.

When the landlord reached his house, Saajan showed the gold pot to him. The landlord asked what was that. Saajan then explained that the gold pot belonged to the landlord as he found it while digging the house. The landlord was astonished. He said, " I had also tried to dig the house earlier but never found any gold pot. This is because of your luck you have found it and hence it belongs to you". Saajan then replied, " But I stay in the top floor and I found the pot in the ground floor, so it belongs to you".
Both of them were not fighting for the gold pot but to give the pot to the other. We have seen people fighting for property but have we seen people fighting to give away the property?

Sometimes, even if we are right, we have to forgive and save the relation. If we are going to keep Right and Wrong in the center, there always be a battle in our mind. But if keep Good and Bad in the center, then there will be a solution. Never be egoistic. Egoism is a trait that will lead to disrepute

                            "Sugar enters in every sweet, Ego enters in every topic". 

Remember, in life, if don't find a Guru, make your conscious your Guru and it will definitely give you the right answer. Never make your mind the Guru. The five fingers of our hand are different from each other but there is a lot of co-operation between them. When our mobile charge drains off, we charge the battery. Likewise, we have to recharge our relations.

To be continued...

Sandheh Se Samarpan

                                                                         Day - 4

Doubt to Dedication

“The Guru is the Ladder, the Guru is the Boat, and the Guru is the Raft to take me to the Lord's Name. The Guru is the Boat to carry me across the world-ocean; the Guru is the Sacred Shrine of Pilgrimage, the Guru is the Holy River. If it pleases Him, I bathe in the Pool of Truth, and become radiant and pure.”

There are some points to remember in order to build a good relation with our Guru:

1. Near:

A flower looks beautiful from far away and thorns are seen when we come near to the flower. But we just ignore the thorns and pluck the flower for its beauty and fragrance. Our love for the flower remains the same even after seeing the thorns in it.

                                         "He who wants the rose, must respect the thorn"

 Likewise, in order to maintain good relations with God and our Guru, we need to take the good things from them. We have to come near to our Guru to grow in life.  In spiritual life, there will be difficulties, but we need to learn from them for our own growth. After seeing the weakness in our Guru's life and still being able to love them the way they are is the biggest challenge. If we want to inherit something from our Guru, we have to take the good from them. 

2.  Hear:

         "Hear one side and you will be in the dark. Hear both and all will be clear."

Do we have the ability in us to hear what our Guru has to say?We have to understand that whatever our Guru says is for our welfare and well being and we have to hear first as listening brings more welfare than seeing. We have to come near our Guru to understand their true value. A doctor prescribes a medicine that is good for the patient and not a medicine that the patient likes. Similarly, a Guru will tell us what is good for us. 

Once Gurudev went to his Guru and said that he feels very hurt the way he treats him. He does not like the torture. Gurudev's guru replied," I have not made you a Saint to protect your mind but to protect your soul". 

When a Potter makes a pot, with one hand he shapes the pot from outside and with the other hand he supports the pot from inside. So we all are able to see the harsh words of our Guru but we are not able to see that our Guru protects us from inside. 

Once a Guru asked his disciple not to go outside. Even after telling a number of times, the disciple went as he had some important work. When he went outside, he saw a donkey crying on one corner of the road and he returned back thinking it is a bad sign. His Guru then asked why he had returned. The disciple explained that there was a donkey crying, he returned as his work will not be done. So such is our case. We listen to the donkey but not our Guru!

Even a cricket player listens to his coach in order to grow in his career. Likewise, we have to listen to our Guru to grow in spiritual life. There should be no arguments and no doubts, but just the ability to hear.

3. Dear:

Our love and respect for our Guru has to be steady no matter how our Guru says or how he treats us. Our love has to be the same even if we they say something that we don't like. They still have to dear to us. 

                               "Every stone is ordinary, a sculptor makes it extra ordinary

                               Every disciple is ordinary, a Guru makes him extra ordinary"

When a Guru tells his disciple to GO AWAY, and the disciple still says NO WAY, that is love of the disciple for his Guru. The disciple does not want to leave his Guru no matter how he treats him or whether he hurts him.The love which the disciple has for his Guru is really the response evoked by the greater love which the Guru has for the disciple. and it is to be placed above all other loves. 

Here is a story from Mahabharata to explain this:

Eklavya was a brave boy and had a great desire to learn archery from Dronacharya. He had dreamed for learning the art of archery under Drona but he was not accepted as a disciple. But Eklavya was very determined. He installed a clay idol of Dronacharya near his house and worshiped it as his Guru. Everyday he prayed in front of the idol and took self lessons in bow and arrow. Soon he became an expert in the field of archery. One day Dronacharya and Arjuna were passing near the hut of Eklavya. Dronacharya saw the skills of Eklavya and asked who his Guru was? Eklavya was very excited on seeing Drona and said that he worshiped him and that he was only his Guru. Dronacharya had never accepted Eklavya as his disciple as he loved Arjuna and wanted Arjuna to be on the top always. So Dronacharya asked Eklavya for Guru Dakshina. He asked Eklavya for his right thumb as his Guru Dakshina. But Eklavya was happy and kept his promise without any protest. He cut off his right thumb and placed at the feet of Dronacharya. Such is the sacrifice of a true disciple for his Guru!

A Guru always wants to give a lot to his disciples, but a disciple gets what he deserves. 

4. TEARS:

                                         "Tears are words the heart can't express"

Is is so true that tears are the silent language of love. Have we ever felt this love for our Guru. Tears would flow our of our eyes when we know that whatever we are today is because of our Guru. What role does tears play in our life? Gurudev, with his Guru's blessing is today able to talk in front of thousand's of people and has written so many books. He might have become proud about his accomplishments but he did not. When we come near our Guru, love them and listen to them , we will become devoted to them in any case. 

There was man in Mumbai who used to live in a flat worth Crores. He used to go everyday to Gurudev and asked him to come to his house for Bhiksha. When Gurudev said no to him, he started crying. Tears were flowing out of his eyes. Seeing this, Gurudev agreed to go his house. Gurudev had asked on which floor was his flat. The man replied that his house was on the 21st floor. But on seeing his love, Gurudev went to his flat and took Bhiksha. The man was filled with so much joy that he could not explain in words. On coming closet to our Guru we will learn how to maintain peace in our life. If we don't consider our Guru "Dear" to us we can never come "Near" to them.

5. FEAR:

       "One who does not fear God, shall live in fear; without the Guru there is only pitch darkness"

Place the fear of the God on your head and bear that weight, for those who do not have the fear of God or their Guru are overtaken by fear. They are destroyed by their own pride. When we fear to do anything that our Guru does not like, we will never do anything wrong. This fear that we have is a positive one and not a negative one. This positive fear will help us to grow in life and it has a lot of strength in it. We have to fear the one's we love. This fear will take us long way in our life. 

A man had a wine shop near the temple. Everyday around ten people who used to go to the temple used to curse the man for having a wine shop next to a holy place. They used to wish that his shop catches fire. One day, it happened that the shop was really on fire. The man then lodged a complaint in the court that his shop caught fire because of the people's curse. The people who had cursed the wine shop asked the Judge that how could their curse cause fire. But the Judge said that the man who has kept wine shop has more faith on God than them because he believes that God has listened to their wish. 

So we need to come close to our Guru, listen to them and follow their teachings to live a good meaningful life.         

  "Let no man in the world live in delusion. Without a Guru none can cross over to the other shore.”

                        

Nahi Aiso Janam Baar Baar

                                                                    DAY - 3

                                                        Nahi Aiso Janam Baar Baar

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.

In olden days, there was no mobile or internet facility. A girl got engaged to a boy who lived in America. They both promised to send each other letters every week and the boy flew back to America. Both used to wait eagerly for the letters. The were happy to write to each other. This went on for 2 months, then the letter started coming fortnightly for three months. Then the girl wrote only one letter in one month, and then one letter in 4 months, one letter in 6 months and finally no letter at all! The boy was worried as there were no misunderstandings between them. He asked the girl what mistake had he done and why was there no letter from the girl. The girl replied that there are no misunderstandings but she does not want to marry him. She said that the post man first used to deliver her the letters from America. Slowly she fell in love with him and got married to him. Hence the girl asked the boy to forget her.
Similarly in our life, our near and dear ones, like our Parents, our family members, close friends and relatives are all the letters from God to us and our good deeds, luck and fortune is the Postman who delivers Letters to us. So what do we want in Life? Money or God? We will never get this birth again. Here are somethings to do to live a good meaningful life:

1. CHOICE:

Life is the journey from B to D. Here B is Birth and D is Death. No matter what happens, we always have a choice. Even when it seems that there is no option, there is always something else that can be done. What happens in our lives is the result of decisions that we make.We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are. Animals, Prisoners, Poor people don't have the power to make choice. God has gifted us eyes, ears, mouth, it depends on us to choose what to see, hear and talk. What is our mentality in the field of choice? Man can choose to go to clubs or to temple. If a poor man is given Rs 1/- he might buy himself food, a business man might make crores of rupees and a gambler might gamble with the money. It is all our choice. Choice is our biggest strength. Bad words are made from alphabets and God's prayers are also made from alphabets. It all depends on the choice of letters. Our choice is that we want the best bungalow, house, car, and all luxuries in life, but why don't we choose good thoughts? Animals going to slaughter house have no choice but to be killed. Donkey has no choice but obey his master. A servant has to do his duty and obey his master.  It is God's blessings that we are able to make choices for ourselves, then why are we always complaining about our life?
                                                          "Our Nature is our Future"
For eg. A teacher once asked in the classroom, " Differentiate between the use of a thing and its wrong use."
The boy said, " Teacher, Scale is used to measure but you use it to beat us".
Another eg, A man used to always donate money for good causes. He had an 8 year old son. Gurudev asked if his son also donates. The man asked why at this age? Gurudev said it is important even for kids to understand the values and culture of their family. Gurudev asked the man to give Rs 200/- and ask him to donate or use in a good way for some one in need. The man did what Gurudev asked him to do. One day the man received a phone call from his son's school. It was the Principal on the other end. The Principal asked if had given his son money. The man said yes and asked what has happened. The Principal said that the boy had come to meet her and asked if there was any poor student in the class as he wanted to pay Rs 200/- as fees.
This is the Power of Choice!

2. CHECK:

Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.

After making a choice, have we checked if we are right or wrong? We chose Money as we wanted to live a happy life, but have we checked if our goal is accomplished? We have to Observe ourselves and know where we are!

For eg, Once a wife told her husband about her dream. She said she had dream't that they were going on the way and her husband had got her a necklace worth Rs 5 Lakhs. Husband did not react or say anything. On being asked the husband replied that he also dream't the same thing but the bill was paid by his father in law.
A good business man checks his position, margin, capital and income.A good author check his book before publishing it. If we don't get cured by a particular medicine that the doctor has given , we check and take the necessary steps. In our life, we keep running behind wealth, car, bungalow and all luxuries, but have we checked ourselves and where we are heading towards in our life? What is our mentality in this field? We have to observe and check ourselves every single day to see if we have accomplished our goal, if we have done any mistakes that we can correct. An eraser behind a pencil is there to help us not to repeat the same mistakes again.
For eg. A TC once came to check ticket of a passenger. The passenger checked and could not find his ticket. The TC asked the passenger not to get tensed as he can read the man's face and knows that he will find the ticket. The passenger replied, " I am not checking my pocket to show you the ticket, but I am checking where I have to go?"
So in life, we need to keep checking ourselves constantly to be on the right track.

3. CHANGE:


“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”

When a medicine does not work, we change it. We might have made choices, checked them also, but if they were wrong, did we take the step to change? We have taken care of everyone, now it is time to do something for ourselves. While going on the road, if we realize it is the wrong road, don't we take a reverse and change the road? God has gives us the blessings to change when we are wrong. What have we achieved by doing wrong? Why don't we change?
For eg. When Gurudev was a small boy, he was once standing in a line to take pass for the train. There was an old man in the queue. A pick pocketer came to him and asked him to read a letter he had in his hand. The old man could hardly see but was trying to read. In the mean time, the pick pocket man stole the old man's wallet and left. He went below a bridge and showed the wallet to his friend. His friend asked from where did he get such a wallet full of money? The pocket man replied that he stole the old man's wallet. The friend asked him why he had stolen an old man's wallet. He asked him to return it in the same way he had stolen the purse. The pick pocket man did the same and returned the wallet to the old man.
A Pick Pocket man can change, then why not we?
We should never commit the same mistake again under known circumstances. Like, if had lied to increase our salary in the times of recession it is okay. But it is wrong to lie when there is no recession. We send our kids to good schools. Do we look at good education or good culture of the school?
For eg. A father used to drop his son to school every morning. One day the son told his father to leave him about a kilometer before his school. The father asked the reason. The son replied that his father looked ugly and hence he should not come to his school. His father asked what if he comes to his school everyday? The son replied that he would say that he has hired a new driver!
We have to ask our mothers, what they had thought for us when we were born. Mothers would say that they thought something else for us and we have become something else. Life is not given to us to sleep, but to be awake and change!
                                            “When in doubt, choose change"


4. CHALLENGE: 


“There are no negatives in life, only challenges to overcome that will make you stronger.” 

We have to learn to take challenges in life, no matter how old we are. 

A man use to come to Gurudev every night and used to press his head. In every 5 minutes he would go out and come back. Gurudev understood that he used to go and smoke. When he used to come back, though Gurudev knew about his smoking habit, he did not say anything. This went on for a while. The boy was worried thinking why Gurudev never used to say anything to him. He then called Gurudev to his house. The man finally asked," Don't you know something? " Gurudev asked what? The man said that he used to smoke everyday and that he is a chain smoker. Gurudev replied, " I knew that you used to go out for smoking. I have seen many chain smokers but no one good like you who used to come to me everyday." The man was moved by what Gurudev said and took a challenge for life that he will never smoke again.
Life is also battle field. We have to try and take challenges to change ourselves.

          "We don't lose when we fall down, we lose when we don't get up after falling down!"