Wealth of Wisdom - Day 3

                                                            Week 2 - Day 3

A man was in trouble. He had problems in business and family life. He decided to end his life the next day. He then decided that the next day even if one man smiles at him, he will drop his plan to suicide. What will our reaction be if we see a stranger in sorrow with a sad face? Would we smile at him or just neglect him?

“There is no greater calling than to serve your fellow men. There is no greater contribution than to help the weak. There is no greater satisfaction than to have done it well.”

What is our contribution of life? Suppose we are walking bare feet and there is a person going in the car, we ask him to drop us where ever he is going and he might refuse to drop us. Suppose we are walking bare feet and a person going in the car agrees to drop us and we refuse to accept his kindness, which is more sorrowful?

If we are alone in sorrow, we might be able to bear it, but if we are alone in happiness, we will not be able to bear it and we will definitely get disturbed that there is no one to share our happiness.
So how ready are we to share our happiness with everyone?

There are four types of wealth in life that we need to focus on:

1. Fortune Wealth(भाग्यालक्ष्मी): 

"We make our own fortunes and we call them fate"

Fortune is that which we get by luck or fate. A man who is born in a rich family from birth is because of his fortune, luck or fate. His manliness is nil in this case. A man born in a poor family from birth is also because of his fate or luck. We have eyes to see, ear to hear and tongue to speak from birth and some people are born blind, deaf and dumb from birth. This is also due to fate.

    "Each man is the architect of his own fate"

2. Holy Wealth(पुन्यलक्ष्मी):

This is a fortune that we get due to our good deeds. The wealth that we got due to our good deeds is again used in good deeds. This is due to our own holy nature or our good deeds in our previous life. In business, if we are going very good, is it because of our own intelligence or due to our good deeds? 1% it is due to our own intelligence and 99% it is due to our good deeds. If our good deeds don't back us in the time we require   help, we are in crisis. An educated person is hunting for jobs in comparison to the one who is uneducated. Why? Because of lack of holiness. Do we use the things that we have got due to our good deeds in a good way or bad way? So what is the contribution of our life? How ready are we to give and share? An abundant river is ready to give anytime. A pond is ready to give water but we have to go to it to get water. A tree is ready to give it fruits to anyone who comes to it. What is our mentality in this field of contribution? What is our goodwill? Are we ready for donation? Why are we not ready to give? No one is with the one who does not contribute.

"Not having anything with us is alright in comparison to not having anybody with us"

3. Sin Wealth(पापलक्ष्मी):
 In this case, the wealth would have come from the wrong way and would be used to do only wrong. If the wealth that we have is used for mobiles, TV, Flat, car and for all luxuries but not for any good work is due to our sins. What is our wealth being used for? Do we donate as much as we spend for our own luxuries?  
For eg, In Surat, a woman met Guruji and said that her Son always keeps donating. She was appreciating her Son for his good deeds. The Son then replied, "Guruji, it is all because of the good culture that my family taught me from my childhood".

Have we give our children such knowledge?

“The virtues of donations are great because it helps the needy and at the same time it gives an opportunity to the donor to give the surplus to the people in need. It helps the needy to sustain himself. ”

Here is another story. A man was going to the temple in winter. It was very cold. He saw a beggar shivering in the cold and the beggar did not have any cloth on his body. He went home and asked his mother for clothes to help the beggar. The mother took out her Son's expensive shirt and asked the boy to give it to the beggar. The Son said, "Mother, you are so great. You are giving such an expensive shirt to the beggar". The mother replied,"If you want to donate, donate good things". The boy then went to the beggar and gave the shirt. The beggar was surprised to see the boy giving him such an expensive shirt so that he can protect himself from the cold. The beggar said," Sir, you are so kind to give me such an expensive shirt. But there is another beggar who lives nearby and he has no clothes at all. I request you to please give the shirt to him".
Even a beggar has such a character! Where are we? What is our contribution towards life? We spend money for watching movies in a theater but when the time comes to give a beggar even Rs 2/- we doubt him! This is our mentality!

4. Cursed Wealth(शापित लक्ष्मी):
This type of wealth is always stored. It is never used for any work and is just stored. This type of wealth is called Cursed Wealth.

"Crisis is born when wealth is stored,

 Crisis ends when wealth flows"

We keep increasing our wealth and keep it in fixed deposit. What is the use of such wealth? Lets bring the change by giving and donating.

Let us all move towards contribution. Lets donate, be happy and lets other live happily! Lets contribute when ever we get an opportunity to do so. This is the wealth of wisdom

Wealth of Wisdom - Day 2

                                                           Week 2 - Day

 Bhartruhari was once sitting in a cave in the jungle. There was a diamond in the cave. A horse rider was going that way and he saw the diamond. He thought, ‘"If it was a diamond, it should be very costly and I could have many things I desire. He stepped down to pick up the diamond and another horse rider came that way and saw the diamond. Both were Rajputs and so took out the sword to fight for the diamond. Bhartruhari was seeing this scene and thought that even he was a King once upon a time, but left all the riches and came to the jungle. Bhartruhari saw that both Rajputs were fighting for the diamond and both cut off each other’s head. The diamond was there and both left the world.

" Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are"

We know what our center of life should be. Now we should know what is the character of our life. First let us understand the definition of character. In education field, character is when the student does not copy in the exams. In the same way in different fields, there is a different definition of character. In business life, definition of character is that we should not lie. In business field there are three things that we require  - 

Bypass, Speed breaker and Break.

    1.Bypass:  In business life, we need bypass. Bypass means no violence in business life and have no hatred feeling towards anyone. Water’s character is to flow but when stored in the freezer it becomes solid. Anger in business life is alright. The feeling of anger comes and goes off. But if we store the anger in our heart it turns into a hatred feeling. Are we ready not to have jealous or hatred feeling towards the person who has to return us our money from the past few years?  Are we ready not to have hatred feeling towards the one who is doing better than us in business? Are we ready not to bring them down in any way? This is the character in business life bypass. Jealousy brings hatred and hatred brings violence. 

Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but Jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time”

Jealousy, Hatred, Violence are three things we should never have in business life. Are we ready not to be jealous against our own brother if he is doing better in business than us? What is our mentality? It is like covering a rotten wood with sun mike. Where are we in the field of wealth of wisdom? 

"Jealousy is a vessel filled with acid. The vessel filled with it will definitely burn"

Likewise, the person towards whom we have a jealous feeling might not be affected, but we will definitely burn in the desire of jealousy. Our love, friendship, peace, satisfaction will all burn in the desire of jealousy. 

If we would like to have peace in life, we have to learn to be happy with what we have. 

                          "If you don't have what you like, like what you have"

FD      2. Break: We have to apply break in our life where we see that our health, happiness and family are at risk. We have to stop when we know that our health is at risk, inner happiness is ending, and love towards our family is not there anymore. 

OnA 32 year old man was sitting near Gurudev. A politician had come to meet Gurudev. Gurudev then sent the man to the politician to collect some documents. The politician then offered the man Rs 2 Crores per year if he would work with him. The man then asked the politician," If I agree to work with you, would my happiness remain steady, would I be able to eat my food on time, would I be able to get the good sleep that I get now and would I be able to spend time with my family". The politician said he cannot guarantee all of this as he has to work day and night. The boy then disagreed to work with the politician. He left the huge amount of money for his inner peace and family. Are we ready to apply such breaks in our life too? What is the logic of running behind money all the time? Inner Peace, love and good health is the real happiness in life. 


3.        3. Speed Breaker: We say that we are running behind money for our family. But did we ever ask our family if they would want to be with us in the next birth also? There will be one time where there will be no point of return. What have we achieved in life? A speed breaker is there to lessen the speed of the vehicle. Similarly in life, we have to put a speed breaker in life when we feel that we don't have time to do good things. We have to reduce the speed with which we are running behind money and have no time for ourselves. We have to take out time to talk to our loved ones. It is important that people love us more than know us. 


                                                   "Anything in excess is poison"

        If we apply these three things in life, we can improve our life vastly. Where money has become top priority, relationships have definitely ended. 


   


    3


3. 

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Wealth of Wisdom

                                                                 Week 2

“A library of wisdom, is more precious than all wealth, and all things that are desirable cannot be compared to it"

Once God announced to the whole world that he would distribute everything - health, wealth, power and success for free. On hearing this, there was a huge crowd waiting to receive all of this for free and God distributed everything for free. There was one thing that God put down and no one picked it up. It could have happened that no one noticed it. God then tried to hide it under his feet. One person who was near God noticed this and when everyone left, he asked God, " God, You have distributed whatever you had. But I noticed you hiding something under your feet. What was it?" . God replied," I gave health, wealth, success, fame and power, which you can get from anywhere, but there is one thing for which you have to come to me. That is Peace of Mind".

"Inner peace creates outer peace"

What is the Center of our Life?

Our goal in life is to gain success, wealth and power. The whole world needs comfort and luxuries in life and for this we need wealth. What is the definition of Happiness? We are all in this world to attain happiness and to lead a good life. But what is real happiness? Does it lie only in worldly comfort? We all know what we can buy with money like Diamonds, Mercedez Car and many more things, but do we know what we cannot get even after giving Crores of money? We all are here to attain happiness but our mentality has become such that we feel that there is no happiness without money. Can we guarantee that these four things have increased in our life after gaining wealth:

1. Love and Friendship towards all
2. Enjoyment
3. Peace
4. Satisfaction

Tree of Wealth

If none of these have increased in our life then are we ready to change the center of our life? Actually, whatever love, friendship, enjoyment, peace and satisfaction have all ended because of wealth. Wealth has created doubt for our own brother. It has brought hatred and fights among all. When wealth has brought all these then why are we running behind money? We can never quench our thirst with water from the ocean. You keep feeling thirsty even after drinking the ocean water. In that case, we would not drink the ocean water anymore and drink the water that will quench our thirst. In the same way even after knowing the cons of running behind wealth, why are we not ready to stop?

In life, we give the Power of Attorney to the person we trust and give them the freedom to decide. Likewise, God has given the Power of Attorney to Satguru, a true Guru. Instead of making wealth the center of life, if we make peace of mind as the center of our life, we will have love, peace, fun and satisfaction. Who is there to stop us from taking the reverse and changing our life for good. 
To find God, we have to leave wealth. It is important to have Love, Enjoyment, Peace and Satisfaction as the center of our life instead of Wealth, and then we will see the difference. Wealth has to be on the second position as wealth disturbs our peace of mind. 


Our ancestors might not have had the wealth that we have but they definitely had peace and satisfaction. Our requirement has not increased but our desire has increased. Requirement is without which we cannot live, like food, water etc and Desire is mobile, luxuries, bungalow and car. It is good to secure our future but we should know our limit. It is not good to spoil our present thinking of our future. We don't even know what shape the water in our hand will take when poured down. When we are satisfied today, then how can we be satisfied tomorrow. It is true that we cannot live without money and money is necessary in our day to day life, but we should not live for money. 

"You can live with money, not for money"

We can carry enough luggage in a truck or train but it is limited in a flight. Human life is similar to a Plane. The more the luggage, the more discomfort while travelling. The person who has less luggage is tension free and easily de-boards the train. When the station of death will come, it will be difficult for those who will have a lot of luggage. A Saint's life has peace, enjoyment, love, friendship and satisfaction. So are we ready to change the center of our life?

"Money cannot buy peace of mind. It cannot heal ruptured relationships, or build meaning into a life that has none"

What is the goal of a mother when she gives her baby a glass of almond milk? She wants her baby to be healthy, fit and fine. The milk also looked very tasty to drink. But in case, the baby becomes ill after drinking the milk, she would stop giving the milk to her baby and give something else that is good for her baby's health. Similarly what is the result after achieving lots of wealth, even though the goal of attaining wealth was right

We have to keep a deadline in our life and lets make peace and happiness our center of life.  

Ram Hi Aaram Hai

                                                              Week 3

Once a teacher informed his students that they will all be going for a trip to Shimla in winter. The teacher said that anyone who wanted to come can bring along sweater, jackets and shawls as it will be very cold. From somewhere a small boy had come and was sitting with the students. The boy said, " You are all going on a trip to Shimla and everyone is asked to bring warm clothes as it will be winter. If you ask me, I would bring my mother as she will take care of me and my needs".

Hanuman, an ardent devotee of Lord Ram, is the embodiment of devotion, dedication and strength.
The following points are to be followed to become like Hanuman.

1. I Love God, My Choice is God:
Once, Hanuman was presented by certain Sita a necklace, fully laden with costly pearls. On getting the necklace, Hanuman plucked each pearl and cracked it with his sharp teeth, looked inside, and threw away all the pearls, one by one, with disappointment. Sita asked him what he was doing. Sita said that she gives gifts to everyone and she has given Hanuman one of the most expensive gift. Hanuman replied: "˜They are no good. I do not see my venerable Sri Ram and Sita in any one of them. What is the use of such necklace for me?"

Hanuman was so devoted to Shree Ram that nothing was more worth to him than Ram. Have we ever tried worshiping Lord Mahavira in all living and non-living things?
In life, if we have Rs 5 crore and suppose Rs 1 Lakh is pending from someone. Knowing that the other person is not financially good to return the money to us, and if he does so, he might become homeless, would we still force him to return the money? Do we have strength enough to say that we don't want that money?
There are some conditions to follow in life:
a. I don't want comfort and happiness after making someone sad.
b. I don't want good in life after committing sin's.
c. I don't want smile on my face after making someone cry.
An eg. About 12-15 years back, in Surat, there was crisis in the Diamond Market. The Boses called all his 22 employee's. The employee's said that they know they have to leave the job and sit at home. The Boss could not help. He said, Due to the crisis, you all will not be able to come to work from tomorrow. But I will give you all 6 months. Try to search for a new job. Until then, on every month beginning you will receive you salaries as I know what would happen without the salary. After 6 months, if you still don't find a job, then come back to me, I will give you a job".
Do we have such strength and such mentality?
If we have to travel around the world, we check for hotels, food etc, but do we check if there is a God's temple there?
Once Hanuman was standing outside the door where Ram was residing. Sita was going inside but Hanuman was not allowed to go. Hanuman asked Sita why was he not allowed to go inside to see Shree Ram. When Hanuman kept asking, Sita showed the sindoor on her forehead and said this is the reason only I can meet Shree Ram. Hanuman asks Sita," Why did u keep sindoor on your fore head? She replied that she keeps it for the welfare of her Lord (Ramji).
Hanuman thought for a while and the next day covered his entire body with sindoor. Sita looked at him in surprise and asked him why he had covered himself in sindoor. With a shy smile Hanuman said, “ Sitaji, you are a Devi, a goddess. By putting a little sindoor in your hair, you can make Lord Ram happy and His life longer. But I am only His servant, His dasa, so I will have to do more than that. And that is why I have covered my whole body with sindoor.” This shows how much he was devoted to Lord Ram.
So to be devoted like Hanuman, we have to love God and our choice has to always be God.

2. I Love Those Whom God Loves:

What is our mentality in this field? Are we ready to love even those people whom we neglect and God loves? It is easy to love God but difficult to love the person whom God loves. Hanuman loved Lord Ram and  he also loved Vibhishana, whom Lord Ram loved.
Here are two questions to ponder upon:
a. Is it alright with us if your son becomes friends with your enemy's son?
b. Is it alright if your son's become enemy with your friend's son?
Now is the time to decide what to do with life, if not, life will decide what to do with us. Now is the time to decide what to do with wealth, if not wealth will decide what has to be done with us. If we don't decide now, Life will play with us and there will be no point of return. What are the things we don't do to get wealth in life, but what has wealth done in turn? It has brought enmity and hatred.
Have we not seen how Saddam Hussain's, Bhutto, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi's life ended? Indira Gandhi's own bodyguard had killed her!

                "More you sweat in peace, Less you bleed in war"

3. I Love The Things That God Loves:

God loves Purity and Devotion. Are we ready to love all those things that God loves?

Hanuman was very devoted to Lord Ram and loved him a lot. Hanuman observed that whenever Vibhishan comes, Ram would get up if he was sleeping and when Hanuman comes, he would lie down. Hanuman asked the reason for this. Lord Ram replied, " Vibhishan is our enemy's brother and so I have to be alert. But you are my own and so I lie down in your presence".

Rishton Ki Kasauti Par Ram

                                                           Week 3

A wife used to consider her husband impious as he never used to take the name of God. In 25 years of their marriage he had not uttered God's name even once. One day the wife told her husband, " Something great happened last night. You were sleeping and you were uttering God's name". The husband replied," This is impossible. It cannot happen that I would have uttered God's name". But finally the husband agreed that he used to worship God in his heart and today he uttered God's name and his heart failed.

In Ramayan, Bharat has played a very important role. He was very simple in nature. When Bharat came to know that his mother has sent Ram to the forest and has asked the throne for Bharat, he asked his mother how did she think that he will be able to sit on the throne that belonged to this brother. He was sad from within.

The following qualities in Bharat show how to maintain relations:

1. Feeling of Love:

True love towards someone would make you even bear any pain given by the other person. We would accept the pain with love. Love for God, Guru and Parents must be so strong that even if there are struggles or pain given by them, we would be ready to bear them. Is there any person in our life who plays such a role?Bharat's mentality was to bear any pain from Ram because his love for Ram was pure. But our love is conditional. We love someone only as long as our wishes are fulfilled and as long as our conditions are met. We trust the doctor who is going to operate us and we sign the papers. But where is our trust when it comes to our near and dear ones.
When Kaykayi had asked for the throne for Bharat, he said," If you had taken Saryu River's water and eaten  Ayodhya's grains, you would not have had such a bad mentality".
In our absence, what would our reaction be if, the property is distributed among two brothers and you are the youngest,
a. Elder brother gets 70% and 30% for the younger one,
b. Younger brother gets 70% and elder brother gets 30%.
If enemy offers us a glass of juice are we ready to drink? A doctor prescribes poison and we take it blindly. Why? Because it depends on who is offering us and on whom we have faith and love.
It is not easy to make God and Guru as our family member.
For eg. In Jalgaon, an 82 year old man used to go in a car worth 40 lakhs. His son used to go in a car worth 25 lakhs. Every morning when the man used to go in his car and if he saw any beggar, he would stop the car, take the beggar in the car to his house, give him breakfast and would send him with great respect. The son used to say that due to his father's good deeds he is wealthy. Did we ever give credit to our parents for what we are today?

When Ram had gone to the jungle for 14 years, Bharat never sat on the throne. Bharat says that he simply cannot sit on the throne while Ram wanders in the forest. He asks Ram for his sandals, which he would place at the throne and would serve personally. With much sorrow and hurt, Bharat leaves Ram and returns towards Ayodhya. He decides that he would not live in the kingdom while Ram is in exile and so lives like a hermit in a nearby town called Nandigram


2. Sacrifice:

The strength to leave the luxuries and our comfort is actual sacrifice. Bharat carried out whatever task was given to him by Ram. None could match Bharat in his attitude of sacrifice, un-worldliness and devotion. He was as close to Ram as one could be.
There was a 40 year old man. His mother was very ill and his father was no more. He told his wife that the credit goes to his mother for whatever he is today. The doctors had asked him to take care of his mother. The man then told his wife, " From today onwards, you would sleep on the bed near mother and I will sleep on the ground". The wife agreed. This sacrifice went on for 12 years between the husband and wife. In this jet age, it is difficult to find such a partner.
To hear Bharat's life story and to implement it in our life is different and is very difficult. Are we ready to sacrifice our comforts for the one's we love? It is not about the whole world. It is about one such person whom we love so much that we are ready to sacrifice anything and everything. 


3. Dedication:
Once there was a match being held in Ayodhya. Ram, Bharat, Shatrugna and Laxman were participating in the match. Bharat said that he will not be partners with Ram and will play against Ram. The audience was surprised as Bharat was always with Ram. The match went on for three hours but no one was interested in the match. In the end, everyone asked Bharat why did he play against Ram. Bharat said, " You are not able to see why I had played opposite to Ram. If I had been partners with Ram, I would not have been able to see him continuously for three hours". Ram and Bharat were two bodies and one soul.
Do we have such dedication in us?

If we are successful in life, we say by God's grace. But when we are unsuccessful, are we ready to say, God,  your wish. Do we have such a mentality that no matter what happens, our love for God will never change.
The dedication of a disciple towards his Guru bring a feeling of love for the disciple in a Guru's heart.
When Ram was in the forest and Bharat came to know about it, he went to meet Ram. Bharat met Bharadvaj Rishi as he came to know that Ram had stayed there before going to the forest. With tears in his eyes, Bharat asked, " Ram had stayed here for one night before going to the forest. From his actions and conversation did you feel that Ram's love for me is still the same?" Bharat was not happy that he got the throne but was feeling sad instead to be away from Ram. The Rishi replied," Ram did not utter your name but I can say that Ram still loves you a lot. When Ram had stepped into the river to take a bath, he said, Asmin Jambu Dweepe and tears were in his eyes when he said Bharat Kshetra. Tears started flowing out of Bharat's eyes.Rishi Bharadwaj,  praises him and says that with the noble conduct of Bharat in renouncing the throne and the unflinching resolve of Ram in implementing his father’s orders, the late King Dashrath has been absolved of all earthly debts and has ascended to heaven.

"रिश्ता बनाना सरल है क्योंकि 

मिटटी से मिटटी पर मिटटी लिखना है 

रिश्ता निभाना मुश्किल है क्योंकि 

पानी से पानी पर पानी लिखना है"

Bharat is not paid obeisance first, that is, even before Rama, Sita and Laxman because he sacrificed the kingdom, or because he insisted to remain with Rama in exile leaving behind his own family. Any well brought up prince of that time would do that for his brother, father or any loved one. He is paid obeisance because he forgave Kaikeyi on Rama’s say so. It is a fact that it is not difficult to forgive others, sometimes out of compulsion, sometimes because of our inability to do anything about it. But it is very difficult to forget wrong done by our own because it hurts our inner being, because we least expect such betrayal from them, such as Kaikeyi’s. It took immense strength of character for Bharat to forgive his mother. BUT HIS LOVE AND DEVOTION FOR RAMA WAS MORE THEN HIS HATE FOR KAIKEYI. There lies his greatness.

Recharge Your Relations- Week 2

                                                                        Week - 2

A man was going home from the railway station in the night. He had lakhs of rupees in his purse. He was constantly checking and was worried if someone would rob him. He took a taxi. The man was constantly seeing the taxi driver from the mirror and kept talking to him so that he can divert his attention. The taxi driver did not say anything. In the morning when he reached home he asked the taxi driver, " You knew that I had lots of money in my purse. You did not speak anything. What were you thinking?" The taxi driver replied, " I was just thinking when would that time come when you will be in my position and I will be in yours". On every tree of relation there will be termites to end the relation.

If a man has qualities of a woman in him then he becomes a great soul. A woman's nature does not have cruelty or rudeness. If a woman has qualities of a man in her then she might become a slut. Great men, Saints and God all have the qualities of woman in them - Kind nature, Humbleness and Purity and tolerant.

A man's nature is composed of anger, cruelty, rudeness, greed etc. In such cases, a new relation can never be made and an existent relation can never exist.

There are two things to watch out for:
1. Excess(अधिक):

A person who runs behind excess can never stay at home. We are all running behind excess wealth. We need more and more. What we have is never enough. A person who thinks about excess does not have relations or connections. Why is there such madness behind excess. Till when would we keep running? Life is short.
An athlete was once running in the Olympics. He was running and everyone was cheering him up. He kept running and he thought he would not reach his goal, but before he could reach, he fell down, got an attack and died.
A rich man is away from home and his family but a poor man is always with his family.
A small kid keeps waiting for his father to bring sweets for him. He controls his sleep and waits for his father, but the father never comes. Finally at around 10 pm, his father arrives. He asks his father for chocolates. His father replies that he has forgotten to bring them and gives the son Rs 1000/- . The kid's mother on seeing this says, " Don't you feel ashamed. Our son is asking for chocolates and you are giving him Rs 1000/-?" The father asks, " Is Rs 1000 very less? Should I give more?" The mother replies, " Lets do one thing. I have not prepared dinner for you. I will keep Rs 2000/- in your plate. You have your dinner". A man might be a successful businessman but an unsuccessful father.
A person who has less money is indigent. But a person who feels he does not have enough money is miserable. When do we plan to change? If not now, then when?

"Anything in excess is poison"

Here is a real life story:
A man had an export business and he used to work from 7am to 9pm. His wife used to always ask him to go at 10 am and come back by 5 pm so that he can spend time with his wife and kids. The man never listened to his wife and he used to say that he is running behind money for his kid's future.
One day is happened that the husband was in the office, the kids were in the school. The wife was watching TV and there were vulgar scenes shown. Her servant was right behind her watching the same scenes. The atmosphere was perfect and a scene happened between both of them. This went on for quite some time. The servant one day said that her husband will come to know of their relation some day or the other. The wife said, " I will not take any risk. Kill him". One night, when the man was sleeping, his wife and the servant killed him and cut him into many pieces and put the pieces in a suitcase. The watchman by chance saw a finger outside the suitcase and complained to the police. The police arrested her and she was thrown out of her flat and her own family. Gurudev met this woman and asked her why had she done such a thing. She cried and replied," I know what I have done is wrong. But what can I do? Even I have desires. I used to ask my husband to take out time for me and my kids, but he never used to listen to us and I did this".
What the lady did was definitely wrong but the root cause of what she had done was because her husband has not given her enough time.
We are available 24 hours for money but we are not available for our wife, mothers, kids etc. We run behind excess wealth all our life and when our last moment comes, we realize that there was no meaning in running so much.
If a dog runs behind a vehicle, it will never reach the vehicle. Even if it does reach, it will not be able to sit in the vehicle. Even if it is able to sit in the vehicle, a dog will remain a dog. Similarly we run behind our ambition without even knowing where to stop and we end up achieving nothing in our life.

2. Stay away from Your Rights:

If we are going to think of our rights first, we will never be able to maintain our relations. What comes first in front of our eyes - What is my right or What is my duty?
The elder son thinks it is his right to get equal property. He files a case in the court against his own father to fight for his rights. Fights happen, relations end when rights are given more importance than duty. We have all forgotten our duty towards our family and our loved ones.
There was family that had eight son's and eights daughter in laws. The smallest son got married just 6 months back. The youngest daughter in law was modern and did a huge shopping. She bought five saree's each worth Rs 20,000/- . The father in law then asked the eldest daughter in law to also shop as per her wish. But the eldest daughter in law replied," The youngest daughter in law is modern. She is our sweet little sister. I don't mind if she does a huge shopping". The father in law was impressed and said that you are thinking about your duty first. I will manage your rights".

रिश्तों की कसौटी पर राम

                                                                             Week 3

                                                                      राम ही आराम है 

Mistake is a single page in a part of life. But relation is a book of dictionary. Do not lose a full book for a single page.

Because it can takes years to build strong relationship BUT possibly only a moment to tear it apart.

So Trust , Keep the faith, Have Courage to Forgive, Give another chance

Emperor Akbar's enthronement ceremony was going on. He asked Birbal what he wanted from him as he was becoming the King. Birbal said he did not want anything. On being asked again, Birbal said, " I want you to keep your hand on my shoulders when you walk towards the throne". Akbar was astonished at Birbal's wish. The next day Akbar kept his hand on Birbal's shoulder. On seeing this everyone was thinking that hopefully Akbar will support them just the way he has supported Birbal.
It is important to support the one on whom we have kept our hand as well.

In our life, do we want to hear Ram's good deeds, do we want to know Ram, do we want to meet Ram or do we want to become Ram? We have to remember God while doing whatever we do and we will do the right thing. God's love is pure love towards us.


Do we have strength in us to become like Ram?
We have to follow theses steps to become like Ram:

R- maintain Relations
A- Attitude
M- Moral

1. Relations:
Maintaining relations is the biggest challenge. Ram had maintained pure relation with Bharat, Dushrath, Jaanki, Lakshman and Kaykayee. Which one would we select in comparison to wealth, health, power, success, luxuries and relation. Which of these will be our top priority. The relation between a Guru and his disciple, God and his devotee, a father and his son,between a husband and wife,  between brothers, will be tough to maintain but it depends on us what we want.

A bird flying in the sky is God's love and a bird in the cage is man's love that is impure.

A goldsmith was making jewellery with his hammer. A small piece of gold went and fell near the place where the blacksmith was hitting the iron with his huge hammer. Iron was making a lot of noise while being hit, whereas gold did not make any noise. Gold asked Iron," Why are you shouting so loudly?" Iron replied, " I am being beaten by my own brother and so I am shouting". It is very painful when we are hurt by our near and dear one's than by a third person.
When a river flows, it first fills the holes nearer to it and then fills the far one's. In our case, our mentality is different. We don't care for our near ones as much as we care for others. Why doesn't our love flow first towards our close ones. If we want to maintain our relations, we have to keep everything else aside and give first priority to our relations.

“Live for yourself and you will live in vain;

Live for others, and you will live again.” 

During Kaykayee's swayamvar, a lot of King's had come to marry her but she had selected Dushrat. The other King's who were jealous tried to attack Dushrat. At that time, Kaykayee saved Dushrat. Dushrat asked Kaykayee what she desired and he will fulfill it. Kaykayee said she will ask for her wishes later.
When time came, Kaykayee said, "Oh, king! send Rama to forest for fourteen years. Let Bharata be made as king of this earth". Rama having been sent to forest for fourteen years, your son will stand firmly, having laid his roots and will stay in power for the remaining period". 
When Dushrat asked Ram to go to the forest for 14 years, he did not question or argue. He agreed to go to the forest. Sita and Laxman both went with Ram. When Sita went to ask Kaykayee permission, Kaykayee said, " My son is a Kshatriya and he will be able to conquer all the difficulties, but you are like a delicate flower. How can I send you?"  Sita replied," I have married Arya Putra and I will go along with him".
When Laxman came to know about this, he also decided to go with Ram. His mother said, " I would allow you to go the forest only if you consider Ram as your father, Sita as your mother and the forest as Ayodhya" Laxman agreed. He instructed his wife Urmila to take care of his mother. Urmila made such a big sacrifice and stayed back only to take care of Laxman's mother.
Here we can see the beautiful relation between:
Ram and Sita
Ram and Laxman
Laxman and Urmila
Ram and Kaykayee


Today we hesitate in doing even these smaller things, and that’s why when the foundation is weak how can the building survive.As brothers grow up they start quarelling about bigger things like land, property etc. If we learn to shape ourselves right now then future problems will never arise.  


There are three important things to remember in life:
a. Never make promises to anyone when you are happy.
b. Don't take decisions when you are unhappy.
c. Don't reply back when you are angry or aggressive.

2. Attitude:


"Right attitude sees the silver lining in a dark cloud while the wrong attitude sees only the dark cloud!"

Ram's attitude was positive when he was asked to go to the forest. He did not think wrong about Bharat, Dushrat or Kaykayee. It was Ram’s principles to follow what his father promised and it was Bharat’s principles not to take what was in reality his loving brother’s. If we are in a family, there will be injustice. Are we ready to bear the injustice and yet save our relations, just like Ram did?
When we view a coin from the front, we see a circle. When we look at it from the side, it looks like a straight line. Same coin, different views. In the same way, if we look at a situation from different angles we get different views. That is attitude.

3. Moral:
Ram was a man of principles. If we want to become Ram, we have first learn to follow our principles.

"Principles are something that show you path even when their is utter darkness, they can be your teacher, mentor and inspiration"

Maryada Purshottam Ram

Maryada Purshottam Ram loved and respected his father more than anything in world and knew that Dashrath’s pride and honour was his word. Raghukul’s principles mandated it’s followers to fulfill anything they had promised even if it means sacrificing their lives for that.
 Dashrath was a staunch follower of his principles and hence infinite pain he must have suffered, couldn’t refuse Kekayi’s wish. Althought Ram could refuse this order(as Dashrath wished)  for whole ayodhya was with him and Bharat could easily have become king(as kekayi wished) for whole administration was with him but both followed their principles of truth and love.

Recharge Your Relations

                                                                  Week 1- Day 2

Once Buddha and his disciple Ananda were going on their way. Buddha requested Ananda to get him some water from a nearby river as he was feeling thirsty. A bullock cart had just passed from there and so the water had become dirty. Ananda tells to Buddha that the water is dirty and undrinkable and that they should wait until they find a stream that is cleaner. After 15 minutes Buddha asks Ananda to get water from the same river. Ananda is then astonished to discover the water he pulls from the river is clean and clear.
Ananda asked Buddha the reason. Buddha replied," The water had become dirty for sometime but after sometime the water cleared up and became clean".
Similarly in life, our relations might get disturbed for sometime, however, we have to wait for the disputes to settle down.  Maintaining Relations, now-a-days have become painful.

                      “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”

To become beloved of God, we have to first become people friendly. To become people friendly, we have to first become friendly in our family.

There are four things that can destroy relations and that can cause PAIN in relations:

 P - Patience (Less)
A - Attitude (Wrong)
I - Independent (More)
N - Nature (Bad)

1. Less Patience:


     "Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting"


To maintain relations, we need to have a lot of patience. We have to wait. There is lot of stress and depression in relations and may be it might not work as we wish, however, if we have patience, things might change.

                                      "You can never step twice in the same river"

Like the water that is different every time we step into the river, we are also different from yesterday. We are not the same. We might be wrong if we make decisions based on what happened once. A person can always change. After every Autumn comes Winter. A tree becomes dry and sheds all its leaves in Autumn, but the gardener does not cut the tree off. He waits until it is Winter when the tree is again full of green leaves. 


After every sunset, there is a sunrise. After every red signal, there is a green signal. When Nature can have such patience, why can't we?


                                       "Assumptions are the termites of relationships"


A cardiogram graph always goes up and down. If it becomes a straight line, it means danger. Similarly in relations, there will definitely be ups and downs, but we have to wait. The more the patience, the more the strength. In case, we wait and the other person does not change, then at least there will be a satisfaction that we tried to maintain the relation. Less patience is like acid in a relationship.


Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.


Due to lack of patience, today, parents are in old age homes and there are so many divorce cases between couples.
A 26 year old boy was once sending his father to the old age home. The father agreed but just before leaving, there were tears in his eyes. The son asked the reason why he was crying. The father replied, " Son, if I had put you in an orphanage when you were a kid, today this situation would not have come where I am forced to go to the old age home". The son had no patience with his father and hence such a situation happened.

There are examples of very good relationships as well.
A mother-in-law used to always nag and scold her daughter-in-law. But the daughter-in-law never used to say anything. She quietly used do her work. The mother-in-law was surprised and finally one day she asked her daughter-in-law the reason she never used to back answer. The daughter-in-law replied, " Mother, it must be for my good that you are scolding me. And everyday I pray to God to give me so much patience to listen and bear what ever you say".

A Joke: Once a man asked his friend if he has seen the new machine(Lie Detector) that detects a lie and catches you if you lie. The man replied, " I am married to such a machine".

                                       "By doing nothing, everything is done"

Dirt in a bucket of water will settle down and we can get clear water if nothing is done to it, but if we try to shake it, we will only get dirty water. Advanced technology has attacked first on Patience.
A true story to show the lack of patience in today's generation:
An 18 year old boy had ordered for a juice in a restaurant. The waiter did not bring the juice. He waited for 10 - 15 minutes. Finally he lost his patience, went straight into the kitchen of the restaurant and killed the waiter!
So, are we ready to wait and mend our relations rather than break them? Whenever someone criticizes us, we should never reach immediately. We have to wait, think and then answer the person. By doing so our relations can be saved.

2. Wrong Attitude:

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”

Having a wrong attitude means having a negative attitude. We feel," I can never be wrong". We always point out at the other person. Wrong attitude can never work in relations. We need to have a positive approach. If a person drowns in the middle of the ocean, we cannot do anything, but we are astonished if we realize that the water level was not very high where the person drowned. So is the case in relationships. For trifle reasons, relationships end.
There was a boy, who was good in character and used to respect God and elders but he was not ready to speak to his father. One day Gurudev asked him the reason why he would not speak to his father. He replied," I wanted to become an engineer but I father made me a Charted Accountant and so I will never talk to him for the rest of my life".
The boy had such a wrong attitude towards his father who had done everything for him. So are we victim to wrong attitude?
Today nobody wants to stay in a joint family. If we want to stay in a joint family there will be three side effects:
1. There will be injustice.
2. we will be insulted.
3. We will be neglected.
But we have to accept these to stay together. Lot of things happen in a relationship, but we have to know how to deal with all of these situations in life. First we have to know how to use our tongue as words once said can never be taken back
"It is easy to forget if someone hits us with a stone but very difficult to forget if someone hits us with words".
If someone makes a mistake scold them for their current mistake but don't remember the old one's. And one last thing, when someone hurts us, we would feel like asking, " Do you know about the sacrifices I have made to maintain a good relation with you?" But instead ask the other person, " What are the sacrifices you have made to maintain a good relation with me?" Then see the difference! Thank You would seem a very small word in front of the sacrifices the other person made for us.

3. More Independent:

Children today are given too much of freedom by their families and society. Too much of freedom has in turn made the children rude towards their parents. It is not a question of freedom but too much of freedom that has spoil't the young generation.. Even in cricket, a player has his boundaries where he can run on the ground. Even in Olympics, there are boundaries. So even we need boundaries in life. There has to be a limit to everything. There is no limit to wine, rave parties, pornography and blue films. After marriage, girls want to work and don't want to be at home. They don't want to work in the same office as their husband. A daughter-in-law orders her mother-in-law to prepare her breakfast in the morning. Is this our culture?
Parents give all the freedom to their children thinking that they did not get enough freedom in their childhood. 
Children don't even want their parents to ask to whom are they talking to over the phone.
Democracy does not mean freedom that would spoil us.

A 15 year old boy once demanded his father for a car worth four lakhs. The next day the father took him to the bank and said, " I have deposited the money in the bank. The day you can earn to buy petrol for yourself, I will get you the car". Children should not be given this free will of spending money the way they want.
We are not against Freedom, but against More Freedom!

4. Bad Nature:

“Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.”

If our family members want us to be around most of the time, then we have to understand that our nature is good. The kind of nature we have will decide the kind of relationships we will have.
There was a man who had five sons and five daughter-in-laws. If anytime, even one of the daughter-in-law wanted to go their mother's house, the man would immediately send them. The daughter-in-laws used to return within 2 or 3 days because they did not like to be without their father-in-law! Do we get to see such a relationship anywhere?

Lets change our nature, forget Ego and ask for forgiveness to those whom we have hurt. We need to become beloved between our family members, then among people and then we can become beloved to God.

Recharge Your Relations

                                                                     Week 1- Day 1

Recharge Your Relations

                                       
Life is about Relationships and we need to know how to keep and maintain them. We all need one another.
In life relationships don't die but are murdered. When ever relations break, we point out at the other person.
A relationship is like a thread. The more the knots in a thread the shorter the thread, likewise, the more the hatred in relations, the more the relations break!

There are three things in life that we have to avoid and that can murder our relationship with others:

1. EGO:

Ego is the only requirement to destroy any relationship

So, Be a bigger person, skip the 'e' and let it 'go'

The biggest enemy of relations is EGO. Between family members, society and countries, Ego is the biggest reason for all kinds of fights. First of all let us understand what is Ego? If "I" comes in between any relation, it would end the relation. A TEAM breaks when I comes in between. The ego is a deep desire to dominate.  
                       The ego says," I am always right, special, higher, bigger, greater than you"

 Ego does the work of wall in a building of relations. Ego does the work of acid that spoils milk and does the work of a stone that when thrown brings ripples in water.Till date, Ego has not done one good thing in relations.We have to avoid ego in order to maintain our relations.

                "The world is burning in the fire of desire, in greed, arrogance and excessive ego.”

Our body is made up of oxygen, food, water and medicine. Some relations are like water to us, some like food without which we cannot live and some are like medicines that we take only until we are ill. In our life is there even a single relation that is like oxygen to us? Is there any such relation without which we cannot live? If a relation breaks, does it disturb us or not? We have know how to ask for forgiveness and also forgive.

"Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego".

Surdas was a devotee of Lord Krishna. Once he fell down in a pit. He remembered Shree Krishna and trusted the Shree Krishna will come to save him. Like he had thought Shree Krishna came and gave his hand to pull him out of the pit. Surdas thought that his Lord had come after such a long wait and hence will not let him go so easily. When Shree Krishna pulled him out, Surdas held his hand firmly and did not let him go. But Shree Krishna in any case left his hand and went away. No matter what Surdas was very devoted to Shree Krishna. He never brought his ego in between.
Sudhama was devoted to Shree Krishna, Hanuman was devoted to Shree Ram and Gautama was devoted to Lord Mahavira. Do we have one such relation with anyone person  in our lives?

                                         "Leave Ego, Otherwise Everyone Would Leave You"

We maintain good relations until our needs our met. We become selfish in relations and then end the relations when we don't require them anymore. Whenever ego comes in between, we have to tell ego," Don't come near me. Stay away!" . Ego murders relationships. Today there are so many divorce cases in India? Why? Because of ego between a husband and wife! Relationships between father and son, mother and daughter, brothers are all ending because of ego. 
For eg, If someone picks our pocket and runs away, does he come to us for a solution or do we go to him?
We go to him because we want to save our money. We save out fingers when we cut our nails. So why don't we take the first step to save relations with our loved ones?  
When we forgive our family members for anything they have done to us, it means, " I don't want to save my ego,  I want to save my relations".

In life, have we got anything as per our choice? None of these are of our choice - our Birth, Birth place, our body, Family members, Parents,God, Religion. The why an egoistic attitude?  If we don't have a good relation with the gardener, then why do talk of leaving the garden? Even a small kid has ego in him. When he falls down, he would see around him if anyone has seen him and then cries.
The biggest enemy of dedication towards someone is ego. Ego will never let you be dedicated to anyone.

A Joke: A boy got 92% in his exams and even then he wanted to go for tuition's
His mother asked," Son, why do you want tuition's when you have got such good marks?"
The son replied," Mother, why do you want a servant when you health is so good?"

There are examples of beautiful relationships as well. A husband was going on the way and an astrologer asked him to show his hand. The husband showed his hand and the astrologer told him about his future. Then the astrologer asked the wife to show her hand. The wife replied," My husband and I am one from the day we got married. You have already seen my husband's hand. So there is no question of me showing you my hand".

"Ego closes your eyes for the truth

Selflessness opens them

Ego makes you lose your self respect

Selflessness gains it "

Once a boy and a girl were about to get married. The girl's mother asked the boy," Where will you take my daughter after marriage?" The boy said, " I will take her to Kashmir, Shimla, Darjeeling". The mother replied," No, take her to America". The boy said," I do not have enough finance now to take her to America. I will take her when I earn that much". The mother started arguing that the boy has to take the girl to America. When the boy denied, the mother asked the girl to end the relationship with the boy and the wedding did not take place.The mother'e ego was the reason this relationship had ended.We are ready to save ego but not relations. Ego is never ready to bend!

There was once a poor man named Saajan. He was poor by wealth but rich in his thoughts. Once while digging the house, he and his wife found a pot of gold. He told his wife that this gold pot did not belong to them as they lived in a rented house. They both decided to give the Gold pot to the landlord the next day. The poor man's wife then asked him to give the gold pot to the landlord as soon as possible because she felt that their mind may change due to poverty. They did not want to take the risk, The man went to the landlord's house but was initially not allowed to go inside by the security guard. But he begged and went inside. The landlord scolded him and said," Why have you come here?"  The man replied, " Sir, only you can solve my problem and I want you to come to my house". Tears rolled down his eyes and he asked him to come immediately. The landlord thought that the situation must be critical and agreed to go. He asked the reason but the man said he will tell the reason only after reaching home.

When the landlord reached his house, Saajan showed the gold pot to him. The landlord asked what was that. Saajan then explained that the gold pot belonged to the landlord as he found it while digging the house. The landlord was astonished. He said, " I had also tried to dig the house earlier but never found any gold pot. This is because of your luck you have found it and hence it belongs to you". Saajan then replied, " But I stay in the top floor and I found the pot in the ground floor, so it belongs to you".
Both of them were not fighting for the gold pot but to give the pot to the other. We have seen people fighting for property but have we seen people fighting to give away the property?

Sometimes, even if we are right, we have to forgive and save the relation. If we are going to keep Right and Wrong in the center, there always be a battle in our mind. But if keep Good and Bad in the center, then there will be a solution. Never be egoistic. Egoism is a trait that will lead to disrepute

                            "Sugar enters in every sweet, Ego enters in every topic". 

Remember, in life, if don't find a Guru, make your conscious your Guru and it will definitely give you the right answer. Never make your mind the Guru. The five fingers of our hand are different from each other but there is a lot of co-operation between them. When our mobile charge drains off, we charge the battery. Likewise, we have to recharge our relations.

To be continued...